And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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