That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
