so that wasnt chicken after all
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
