i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
