I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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