1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I bet he comes in French.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
