I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
