my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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