Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
