Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
