I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
