there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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