dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
