I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
