Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
