I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
