remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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