I think i peed on brittanys purse
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
