and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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