tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
