your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
