trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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