So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
