just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
