I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
