she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
