I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
