his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
