You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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