so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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