i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
