can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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