im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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