I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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