New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
