What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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