I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
