apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize