so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
