The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
