I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
