Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
