He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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