you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
