Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
