what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
