did you get engaged???
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
