i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
