I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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