i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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