I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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