so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
