My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i think im in europe. pls send help
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
