The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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