Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
