After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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