Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize