he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
