so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
