We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
