he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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