I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
