I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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