even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
