Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Bring me that man meat
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
