So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
