i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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