This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
