YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
