Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
