I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
