And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
