it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
