i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
